![]() ![]() I have to salute Bay for helping to create two of the most offensive bots in screen history - Skids (Tom Kenny) and Mudflap (Reno Wilson), Chevy concept cars who do black stereotypes in ways that would shame Jar Jar Binks.īut I’ve said enough. More importantly, the story answers the question of who will say “I love you” first - Sam or Mikaela? I’ll never tell. The plot devolves into a chase story in Egypt and the destruction of theyramids. Alice gives Sam tongue in ways you won’t believe. Hey, makeup, we need more lip gloss.” He even brings in another hottie, Isabel Lucas, as Alice, another student who never cracks a book. I can almost hear Bay behind the camera like a porn director who’s captured a clone of Angelina Jolie: “Push that butt out, Megan, twitch it. He intros Fox in tight shorts, bent over a motorcycle. Let’s pause a moment and talk about Bay and his masterful objectification of women. No one can top him for telling a story with such striking, shrieking incoherence.īay picks up the Transformers story by sending Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeoufelling every line of dialogue) off to college, leaving behind his mechanic girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox). ![]() So is junk food, and they both poison your insides and rot your brain. And, please, you don’t have to remind me that theriginal was a colossal hit ($700 million worldwide) and the sequel will probably do just as well. Transformers: The Revenge of The Fallen is beyond bad, it carves out its own category of godawfulness. But there is more to be said about a movie this gargantuan ($200 million spent on robot hardbodies) and galactically stupid. On every level this movie is as bankrupt as GM. It’s tempting to dismiss Michael Bay’s long, loud and ludicrous sequel to2007’s Transformers with one word - hunkajunk. ![]()
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